Every now and then I know what I should do, but something inside my head tries to stop me from doing it. Unfortunately, this usually applies to smart things and not to stupid things.

The stupidest thing, though, is usually the planning.

I spent the day kind of, sort of planning a bunch of things I’ve been meaning to do, especially now that I have lots of time and no real excuses, and I found myself encountering an odd resistance. One of the things I’ve been meaning to do is to set up my portable studio and take a lot of pictures of stuff I want to sell.

This one got pushed aside by a couple projects I’ve been putting off for longer.

First, this site needs some organizing and labeling, but as I pass 527 posts, the thought of going back through seems overwhelming as is the the thought of changing the permalinks for all the posts, which will require more work to make sure the links from other sites, including Facebook, aren’t broken.

That project then got pushed aside by the need to update my older website (which hasn’t been touched in a few years) and bring into the modern mobile age and thus leave behind the era of impressions in mud and smoke-signals.

For this one I tapped the vein of ideas I’ve already had for it and that created a rush of something that actually felt like panic. I couldn’t even decide, for a minute, which notebook to use. Normally, in these situations I click on a game and try to forget, but this time I tried to focus on what was causing the panic. Or, more specifically, the feeling itself, which reminded me a lot of how I feel whilst watching daredevils/fools casually prance around high places. (Warning not safe for, well, just not safe.)

I did manage to sketch out a few ideas and do a little research, but it’s mostly the kind of running in place I’ve done before. Lots of energy, but I still end up exactly where I started.

In the end, I realize I’m just planning to make plans and not actually accomplishing anything.

I might as well have just played the game.