I had some free time today and, because it was payday, I decided to do some running around/conspicuous consumption. Unfortunately, part of my conspicuous consumption was disturbed by bad clerks.

The first part of the day involved banking. Go to the ATM on one corner, encourage the Japanese people who are being slow because they don’t understand the ATMs to go to a bank, teach them how to “pick a finger”, get money and then cross the street to a different ATM and deposit rent money.

Except for the impromptu “gestures lesson”, that part of the day went surprisingly smoothly and we are now able to stay in our apartment for at least another month.

After that, my plan was to head to an electronics shop to buy some lens attachments for my smartphone because “boy” and “toys”. I found the lenses I was looking for but because Japan is such a safe and honest nation they were strapped together by plastic ties like those that keep the dangling labels attached to your clothes. That meant I couldn’t just grab them and head to the register. Also, because Japan doesn’t let me carry a pocket knife (legally. Ahem.) I was forced to try and find a clerk with a pair of scissors to cut the cord.

Despite the store having just opened and despite the fact there were only a few customers, I couldn’t find a clerk. I finally found one guy in a uniform but he ignored me as he is apparently only involved with shipping and/or repairs and/or being an asshole.

I tried to teach him how to pick a finger, but he wasn’t looking at me. I kept trying to find a clerk, but the only one’s I could see were working the registers or helping a customer.

After a few minutes of looking around, I gave up on the purchase and went to the next phase of my day. That involved a haircut and whisky and trying to find a safe place for lunch. (More on that in a future post.)