Today I got to put on a fashion show which is not something I usually do. I also got to play fashion critic which, as a dad, is part of my job description

Today was our day to, at long last, go out and go shopping. After the weight loss, I needed clothes that fit, rather than clothes that made look as if I’d grabbed large sacks and bound them them to my body with rope. Mind you, when I’m at home that look doesn’t bother me much. It also doesn’t bother me much when we’re out shopping, but it doesn’t look the best at work. She Who Must Be Obeyed was getting her Christmas present and our youngest was getting “the Christmas Presents That Suck” (clothes, socks, underwear, etc.)

However, before we left, she dressed up in a short skirt and our oldest’s knee socks which became thigh socks on our youngest. I went “that skirt’s too short” and SWMBO went “those stockings are too sexy” and I went “The stockings wouldn’t matter if the skirt was longer.” In the end, over my protests, our youngest got to keep the skirt but had to change socks.

Our oldest was staying home “to study”.

We went one station away to go to a large Uniqlo which offers clothes that meet my basic clothes requirements (especially for work clothes): 1) cheap, 2) boring, 3) no logos. If you want me to wear your logo, you can pay me to do so, not charge me more for the “privilege” of being your unpaid billboard. (Note: if anyone is interested in making me their paid billboard please contact me here.)

After shopping, we all made our own way home (ping pong was involved; long story) and I told our oldest to take a break from studying. (Ha ha ha. Not really. I actually ended her long break.)

Once everyone was home, we underwent the traditional “parade of approval” where we put on and showed off our newly acquired wares and made ready to take things back if they didn’t receive enthusiastic approval.

Oddly, all my clothes received approval. They must be more boring than I thought.