Two forces collide when She Who Must Be Obeyed isn’t around: the lack of food available for cooking, and my strange ability to combine random ingredients to make a meal.

The former force is a result of SWMBO’s lack of confidence that 1) I can cook and 2) will cook. (There are complicated reasons partly involving me always being wrong that explain why I rarely cook when she’s home.) As a result, SWMBO uses up almost everything available in the refrigerator in order to guarantee nothing will be left behind to spoil. She then wonders why I favor store-bought meals when she’s not around.

The second is a result of my having been a bachelor for way too long combined with an interest in cooking combined with bad money spending habits. (Books before food.)

(Note: I realize there are a few book maniacs who don’t understand why this is a bad spending habit.)

As a result, I’ve always had a knack for assembling random ingredients into a meal. I’ve always maintained that if you gave me a Snickers bar, three pieces of dried toast and a can of Cream of  Mushroom soup I could make a an actual meal out of it. (Toast the bread and cut it up as croutons that you sprinkle on the mushroom soup. Eat the Snickers bar as dessert.)

The alternate plan, if you have a little cash, is ignore the dry bread and mushroom soup and eat the Snickers bar on your way to McDonald’s.

Tonight I had two more giant chicken breasts that had met their “abandon hope all ye who consume this” date two days ago. I responded with a can of crushed tomatoes and two leeks. It all turned out pretty good, but it needed something.

I’ll probably get in trouble for using the tomatoes but that’s a small price to pay.