Category Archives: Random

Deeply Into Debt and Out Again

To steal from Hemingway, sort of, I got into debt two ways: full speed ahead and then significantly faster than that. I got out of debt the same way Mike Campbell went bankrupt: “gradually and then suddenly”.

Basically, I was the sucker who enjoyed the “free” credit cards handed out in the student unions at universities. This was combined with an “I can’t be broke; I still have checks left” attitude and student loans. That combination would eventually put me around 100,000 dollars in debt with no Ph.D. (long story that) and no Porsche. I didn’t even have a decent watch. (Although I did get a good laptop so all was not lost.)

Part of my reason for going to Japan, besides taking a break from academia, was to get some cash and pay off some credit card debt.

About the time I was thinking about proposing to She Who Must Be Obeyed (then known as She Who Would Eventually Be Obeyed) I started making token payments on my student loans. They didn’t even cover the accruing interest, but I did it to establish the habit of sending regular payments. At this time, I still didn’t know how much I owed and denial played games with my math abilities. I told She Who Would Eventually Be Obeyed what I thought the number was and, surprisingly, she stayed around.

It turns out I was only off by 25,000 dollars or so. When I told She Who Would Eventually Be Obeyed what the real number was she had a much stronger reaction. Because we were already engaged at that point, she could have called off the engagement and sued me for lying. (Side Note: Japanese can also have marriages annulled if they find out their partners lied about such important things.) I pointed out that I didn’t have anything worth suing for and that being stupid was not the same thing as lying. (To this day she still doesn’t quite agree with that assessment.)

A year or so after I started the token micro-payments, I started a debt-snowball to get rid of my credit card debt and get my entire debt down to just my student loan. My financial illiteracy created and printed a payment plan that paid off everything in under ten years and would have worked great except I forgot to account for interest. I scribbled corrections on that printout and then kept it as a reminder to pay attention and figure out what the hell I was doing. (And also to print out an actual debt amortization schedule.)

Once I got to having only the student loan, I started throwing every loose yen I could at the debt, and also managed to start some actual savings. The loan number slowly crept down and I celebrated every time it crossed a 10,000 milestone. Early on, I to got the point where I could completely pay off my credit cards every month. I’m pleased to say I haven’t rolled over any credit card debt to a second month in 10 years.

Then, after the 2011 earthquake and tsunami, I noticed that our total net worth, as pathetic as it was on a single salary (plus lots of part-time jobs), was actually bigger than the total amount still owed. The constant earthquakes and the constant threat that we might have to move suddenly (and leave my job behind) told me it was time to get rid of the debt completely.  I closed out some CDs, drained the piggy bank (not a joke, but a long story) and sent it all in. For one glorious month, my debt handler Sallie Mae owed me money (that they eventually just disappeared as “fees”.)

Since then, we rolled most of the old loan payment into savings (well at least until last year when we did some traveling, both expected and unexpected). Even nearly three years later, it is still very odd not having to worry about making a payment and dealing with creditors. I admit I still hold my breath every time a clerk runs a credit card approval during a purchase.

Surprisingly, suddenly having  this odd little thing called “cash” around didn’t start burning a hole in my pocket like I feared it would. I did decide to share the wealth a bit buy buying knives and some other goods from new makers and artisans and I also helped out an old friend. Other than that, we’ve been saving and it’s surprisingly relaxing.

The Whateverness Surrenderiness of Crowds

For reasons I don’t fully understand, I’ve never enjoyed going to concerts. In fact, except for plays, I’m not big fan of live performances in general. Fiction readings are usually dull as are most poetry readings. This is partly because, in my experience, two thirds of all fiction writers and 99% of all poets are not big fans of people in general and often lack confidence and a sense of performance. The result is whispered monotone droning that seems to go on quite a long time.

I call this phenomenon Poet’s Voice. Example below. (You might need to turn up the volume some):


I think part of it is that such performances, concerts included, despite their group nature, are fundamentally individual experiences. You may go to a performance with friends, but each of you must experience the event in your own way. To me it’s like going to a restaurant and having everyone spend time fiddling with their smartphones.

With readings, I have a hard time surrendering to the words, especially when delivered in Poet’s Voice. Bad poetry makes my brain switch off–even when I’m reading it–and it’s no exaggeration to say I have a harder time finishing a bad 200 line poem than a bad 200 page novel. With fiction readings, unless it’s extremely short or an entertaining reader, I don’t find myself interested in the thread of the story enough to take it all in. I’d rather sit down and read it.

With concerts, especially in large arenas, I find myself overwhelmed by the absurdity of it all. Lots of people standing about gawking at tiny figures on stage. The tiny figures on stage, however, are often broadcast via a large screen. This, to me, is no different than watching the concert on TV, except the chairs are crappier. Some concerts compensate by special effects and light shows, but that’s the same as watching a movie, except the chairs are crappier. I’m convinced that people only hold up lighters in concerts because the pain in their thumbs provide actual evidence that they are awake.

I prefer live music in small venues–and no one puts on a better show than the Flaming Lips–but even that isn’t as much fun for me as it is for others. I have a hard time surrendering to the moment. Alcohol helps, but can lead to such absurd horrors as me dancing. And no one wants that.

An Appetite for Destructiveness

One of the things I’ve discovered about myself the last year or so–and I’m not sure this is a good thing–is how fascinated I am by watching things be destroyed. The pictures adorning this site are of the destruction of the old high school building where I work. Watching it get turned to rubble was a lot of fun.

Removing the classrooms.

Removing the classrooms.

This used to be three floors of classrooms.

This used to be three floors of classrooms.

I took dozens of pictures and would stand around watching the Jaws of Destruction for several minutes rather than do less useful things such as planning classes or marking student papers. It was also exciting that we were in the building while it was being torn down. At one point we heard a loud rumbling. A colleague said “I think someone just fell down the stairs.” I said “Actually, I think that was the stairs.”

My old office was on the third floor on the left.

My old office was on the top floor on the left. You can still see the old doors.

Then, when construction started on the new building, I pretty much stopped taking pictures. Every now and then I’d check on the progress and try to guess the layout, but it wasn’t that important.

Part of it might have been sentimentality, I’d spent many years in that disturbingly old building that had to be retrofitted with earthquake-proof reinforcements. (Despite these, I think it’s still miraculous it survived the 2011 earthquake without any damage.) But that doesn’t explain me going out there today and taking pictures of the fresh destruction as they tear down the last bit of the building still standing (including my old office).

The Jaws of Destruction tear old building a new, um, opening.

The Jaws of Destruction tear the old building a new one, so to speak.

It may be that I’ve seen buildings and houses being built before. We even helped build our house in Hayden, Colorado. However, I’ve never been next to/in a building when it was being torn down. That is a fascinating process. There’s noise and dust and then random moments of silence as the crews take breaks. Even after the walls are brought down, the Jaws of Destruction break up and sift the concrete and another machine recovers the rebar and metal bits.

In the USA we’d have probably brought it all down at once with an impressive controlled implosion. Oddly, and I know how twisted this sounds, that would have been boring. Watching it come down bit by bit is much more interesting. I remember a few hundred years ago (plus or minus) when my fraternity house at Kansas State was about to be renovated. The brothers got to participate in a brief orgy of destruction that involved kicking and punching walls and tearing out decades old plaster and lath board. It was a lot of fun. Then, a few weeks after we’d had our fun and the place was abandoned, someone torched the place and it had to be torn down.

I hate to say it, but I was ready to help tear it down. Just for fun. Clearly I’m in the wrong line of work.

Update–Added photo of fresh destruction.

Second Hand Smoking Debriefings

I’ve spent most of my life around smokers. Both my parents smoked, although my mom quit in the early 70’s, and both my paternal grandparents smoked. I lived in Albania where men didn’t just smoke, they smoked as if they were James Bond smoking a cigarette. I now live in Japan which until recently was a smoker’s paradise.

I’ve therefore inhaled a lot of second hand smoke. (For the record, I don’t believe the BS that second hand smoke is more dangerous than smoking. If that were true, it would have been safer for me to smoke cigarettes while my parents were smoking rather than just sitting in the room with them.) Either way, it’s pretty amazing that I never started smoking. In fact, I never had any interest in smoking cigarettes. I’ve smoked the occasional cigar, especially when I could find decent Cuban cigars in Europe and Canada. In a fit of pique I also tried smoking pipes. (Way too much work and affectation for my taste. Also, I don’t have a proper beard or proper smoking jacket.)

Because of this, people smoking doesn’t bother me that much. When I first came to Japan, the no-smoking section was a tiny closet, often lacking full facilities at the back of the restaurant and I would occasionally sit in the smoking section (i.e. the bulk of the restaurant). I did make the mistake once of sitting in the smoking section of a bullet train–simply because it was a crowded train and that was the only seat reservation I could get. I was sick the next day and will never ride in one of those again.

I’m also bothered by people who walk and smoke. This is a phenomenon that seems unique to Japan. Every other place I’ve ever been, smoking was considered a break and the smokers stopped to enjoy a cigarette, or rushed home to have one. In Japan, though, people light up as soon as they exit the train station. It’s common to to be walking behind someone and, all of a sudden, like an old truck changing gears, a cloud of smoke will suddenly billow from the person in front. I’ve also had people flip ash on me and a straight up moron ruin my trousers as he swung his cigarette down around his side. (Children have also been blinded by people doing this.)

Because I don’t mind smokers, I’ve always had a great time hanging out with smokers. At university that was pretty much the the majority of English graduate students and the entire theater department.

My karate sensei and his friends are especially fun after karate tournaments. Sensei smokes, although he’s slowly weaning himself off cigarettes. His friend, though, is the first chain smoker I’ve ever seen light his next cigarette with his current cigarette. He goes through almost an entire pack during a meal. In between puffs, and swigs of alcohol, they will discuss the tournament and complain about the judging. They will also explain everything I did wrong that led to me not winning. Every now and then, though, they will disagree about a technique and that leads to several minutes of drunken fun.

I just sit back and drink. And, on occasion, wish I had a cigar.

Suddenly It Doesn’t Seem That Strange

Our in-laws recently sent us a box full of fresh bamboo shoot which means I’m now getting to enjoy one of my favorite foods in Japan: rice with bamboo shoot and chicken. (I’m also partial to simply slicing bamboo shoot, boiling it and serving it with mayonnaise.)

One of the interesting things about travel, and about living overseas, is the opportunity to try new and strange foods that, in your normal life, seem very strange but after a while become normal. I first tried bamboo shoot after a couple of my adult students took me out into the woods to bag and kill my own bamboo.

I’ve written before about my relationship with raw fish and about how eating too much of certain foods has ruined them for me. However, every now and then I find something new–to me anyway–that I like more than you would expect. Soon after I moved to Japan, I joined a trip to visit the Tateyama Kurobe Alpine Route. This required I stay overnight with a friend who offered me a concoction called Vegemite which, I believe, is yeast waste cleaned out of beer fermentation tanks and fed to an unsuspecting public as breakfast food. It turns out, though, that I actually like Vegemite. I even like dunking Pretz sticks in it and eating as a dip.

On the same trip we passed through a souvenir store that was offering free samples of various exotic foodstuffs. I tried something that appeared to be smoked ham, but actually turned out to be smoked horse meat. This grossed out a couple of my travel companions, and they laughed at me about it, but It turns out I actually like smoked horse. Years later I would discover that I also like raw horse. (Don’t judge me; one of the odd delicacies when I lived in Colorado was Rocky Mountain Oysters, so there.)

All of this, in an odd way, overlaps with being married to a foreign person. It’s no exaggeration to say that since I’ve been married I’ve eaten more of certain foods that I’d either never tried or didn’t like. Those include turnips, in various forms, pumpkin, cabbage, spinach, carp and raw eggs. Luckily there are only a couple things in Japan that I’ve found I don’t like, including oshiruko and the sweetened fried eggs served as sushi. I have, however, had a difficult time convincing She Who Must Be Obeyed that certain foods (cauliflower, broccoli and spinach) are meant to be served raw–or perhaps lightly blanched–or in the case of spinach, covered in bacon grease and freshly cooked bacon. She Who Must Be Obeyed finds this idea questionable/gross–although she is interested in the spinach salad–and always cooks my broccoli a little bit too long.

That’s right, in part of my world, raw horse is normal, raw broccoli is not.

Each Time Ever They Hated My Face

Oddly enough, I have some enemies, of sorts, here in Japan. I am apparently hated by three or four people I’ve never shared more than a few words with. Usually, such hate occurs soon after I’ve begun speaking and people suddenly invent friends, even in empty rooms, or feign death.  But not in these cases. (Well, maybe in one case.)

My first enemy is a man I’ve seen four times since we moved to Kawagoe. He’s clean and well fed but always seems to be just short of cash in the train station and wonders if people could help–a common con around the world, by the way. The first time I met him, he grabbed me and started a story of woe and pain and I told him to go away. Two years later, in the same station, he grabbed me from behind again and asked for money. I chased him away again. Two years after that (yes, I really do see him every two years) he grabbed me and as soon as I turned around he recognized me and ran away. Then, just this year, we ran into him in a different station, this time inside the gate. I chased him away from a group of foreigners and told them how he and I were good friends, sort of. (She Who Must Be Obeyed saw him this time, which actually makes me feel as if he may actually exist in the world and not just in my head.)

The second guy is an asshole I’ve run into twice on the train. He’s rail thin, about my age and always wears aviator sunglasses a couple sizes too large for his head. If I sit near him he starts this angry, anti-foreigner whisper that I pretty much have learned to ignore. I haven’t seen him for a few years.

The most interesting case is a man I see almost every work day. He’s heading away from the station about the time I’m heading toward it. Everyone’s suffered that awkward moment where you see someone approaching and you know that eventually you will have to acknowledge their existence, usually with a grunted “w’sup?” or “howzigon?” and a nod. I nodded at him, especially when it became clear we would meet regularly. He apparently got tired of seeing my face, though, and started crossing the street to get away from me as we drew close. (In his defense, I do not know how bad I smell, so he may have good reason to flee.) He’s so desperate to get away that a couple of times he’s nearly been hit by approaching cars as he stepped into the street.

The funny part about this one is I used to pass a woman on the same road who started doing the same thing. She also almost got hit by cars a couple times.

I, of course, helped the situation by laughing at them and shaking my head.

 

Missing the Fishing and the Forest but not the Trees

One of the things I miss from growing up in Colorado is fishing just down the road from my house. We had a couple fishing spots we used to frequent (Two Mile bridge? One Mile bridge? I don’t remember what they were called.) At that time carp was bait. You’d catch it, hack it up and use it to catch something else. Or you’d use salmon eggs. (Now, here in Japan, carp and salmon eggs are dinner.)

We also used to attempt fishing at Vaughn Lake, but always came away with naught but new swear words from my dad and a reasonably pleasant camping experience. (That’s no joke, by the way. We never caught a fish in Vaughn Lake.)

I did, however, discover that I was allergic to pretty much everything in the air. This reached its extreme after I helped my dad photograph a rodeo. I was down in the unkempt area between the arena and the outer safety fence and inhaling all kinds of animal related microorganisms and various kinds of pollen. The result was a runny nose and swollen eyes. More specifically, my reaction was bad enough it triggered scleritis (scleral edema) and my eyeballs swelled.

A trip to the doctor was followed by a motorcycle trip to Denver to see an allergist. I was allergic to all 32 things he injected into my back and was put on a lengthy treatment that involved drinking a cocktail of allergens in a cold drink each morning and evening. When we moved back to Kansas, I discovered a couple other things I was allergic to and those were added to the cocktail.

In the end, my allergies are 95% cured. I still get a mild reaction if I’m locked in a room with cats, but most trees don’t bother me. Except here in Japan.

Although I’ve always wanted to take the girls fishing and camping, there are some complicating factors.

1) Fishing laws are confusing here.
2) She Who Must Be Obeyed isn’t interested.
3) Our youngest suffers from mild asthma, mostly during weather changes, and also seems to have inherited some of my allergies.

Making things worse, back in the 50s and 60s Japan hacked down 43% of its domestic trees and replaced them with fast growing industrial cedar. The mono-crop not only destroyed ground cover and chased off wildlife, it also created a cottage industry in masks and other allergy goods when it was discovered that many Japanese are allergic to cedar pollen. The pollen gets bad enough that it looks like smoke pouring off the trees and the national news gives pollen reports the same way they report the weather. (Their scale runs from “It’s Okay” to “It’s hell out there” to “Stay the hell inside and don’t breathe.”) Every other year, despite those years of treatment, even I have some problems because of it.

We therefore haven’t been camping with the girls and they’ve never had the joy of catching a gorgeous fish and then killing it and eating it. My goal is to take the girls to Vaughn lake one day and finally pull a damned fish out of that lake.

Use it Till it Crumbles Into Dust and Then Some More

When it comes to electronics and electrical and mechanical products, I’m not what you’d call brand loyal–although I do tend to prefer Canon cameras. Instead, I try to buy something that’s gotten good reviews, is of decent quality and comes at a reasonable price. I then use it and use it and use it until well beyond the “replace by” date.

The result is cars that fell apart soon after I sold them and a television, bought used, that we didn’t replace until the tube had failed so badly that the entire picture had become a green strip in the middle of the screen. We used the new TV until Japan switched to terrestrial digital format and we were told it wouldn’t work again. (Turns out, it did work, so we used it for another year until we replaced it with a Sony Bravia.) I used a laptop I purchased in 1997 until the backlight on the monitor died. Then I put an external monitor on it and used it as a desktop for another couple years. After it finally died, I used it as a stand for my new laptop.

The “new” laptop still works–well, it did until Microsoft sabotaged Windows XP and now I’m using it with Linux. I will use it until it doesn’t turn on. Only then will I think about getting rid of it–even thought it has, technically already been replaced.

This is partly the result of an “if it ain’t broke don’t replace it” attitude combined with a philosophy of “if you understand it, don’t buy something that will require lots of faffing about to configure and understand”. That’s all combined with my view of getting my money’s worth out of the purchase. (Yes, I am the guy who has 20 year old t-shirts that are now either pajama tops or house cleaning clothes.)

Even if something is old and broken, I’ll still use it as long as its basic functions will work. Case in point, the cellphone I bought in 2006. It still works as a phone and an alarm clock. Granted, it now has a few, um, cosmetic issues that require some care and duct tape:

It's just a flesh wound.

It’s just a flesh wound.

A friend of mine would sell his computers every few years in order to recoup some of his money and put it toward a new computer. (However, he’s now become a Mac user which means he no longer has a soul and cannot be trusted.) I understand why he does this; however, I believe using it until stops working accomplishes the same goal. (Money isn’t everything, after all, although it does tend to dominate a lot of things.)

Despite all this, I am now in the market for a smartphone. I have to choose wisely though. That phone will be with me a very, very long time.

Small Smaller Smallest Best

I’ve always had a moody relationship with music, meaning when you ask me what kind of music I like, I’ll tell you it depends on what mood I’m in (another post is needed to explain that). When it comes to music players, though, I’m of the smaller is better, smallest is best school.

Back about the time we moved from our trailer to our house in the Golden Meadows subdivision, my father bought what, for the time, was a pretty impressive stereo system–complete with a turntable and a cassette player. Oddly, despite the impressive speakers, one of his favorite records was a master direct-to-disc recording of a thunderstorm that he mostly used to make the unsuspecting think it was raining outside. (I still don’t get that, by the way. It’s like selling plasma TVs by showing fields of flowers–who the hell cares about fields of flowers enough to watch them on TV?)

Despite the impressiveness of the stereo, I quickly found that I was not a big fan of records or cassettes. By this I mean, although I would eventually buy a few records and quite a few cassettes, I was always bothered by the 80-20 rule of albums: 20% of the songs were good, 80% were crap. This meant I wore out cassettes playing and rewinding the same songs over and over. I’m also pretty sure I remember jamming the buttons on the stereo a couple times. Then there was the need to constantly flip the record and/or LP to hear the other side.

A large stereo also meant that I was subject to the whims of my parents’ taste in music and their shocking lack of interest in mine.

When I got my first Sony Walkman, I was immediately smitten by the portability of it. I liked the ability to carry it around and to block out the radio dead zone in Eastern Colorado and Western Kansas when we traveled to Salina. There was still the 80-20 problem, though, and was pretty heavy in the pocket.

I had a few boomboxes along the way, too, but I didn’t enjoy just turning on music and going about my daily tasks (or doing my best to avoid going about my daily tasks). Even a 90 minute mix tape required more attention than I liked giving music, especially if I wasn’t in the mood for some of the songs.

Eventually, I moved on to smaller and smaller players and even, for a brief time after I got to Japan, got a Sony Discman that was just barely larger than the size of a disc. Unfortunately, it was also too heavy and it had a more expensive version of the 80-20 rule. I eventually gave it away.

My favorite player, for a while, was the Sony MD Walkman. For lots of complicated reasons, mini-discs never caught on in the USA but I enjoyed it. The player I had could have been hidden in a pack of cigarettes and I couldn’t feel it in my pocket when I was carrying it in a jacket. Unfortunately, the MD Walkman died and Sony was like “Well, we could fix it, but buying a new one and an ounce of gold would be cheaper”.

Being me, I went without any kind of portable music for a while. During that time the digital music player revolution happened and after a brief stint with an iRiver, I finally splurged for  second generation iPod touch. This, finally, met all my insane needs for music:

1–I could buy the 20% and ignore the 80%.
2–The player was light and easy to carry.
3–It was easy to swap out music as my moods changed.

I think it’s fair to say I’ve bought more music since I got the iPod than I did in all the years before. However, even now, I’m moody about music and I spend most of my time listening to podcasts.

Vaguely Dangerous and Totally Fun

We spent the day at a nearby park watching our youngest do dangerous things on playground equipment that’s probably illegal in most parts of the USA.

One of the things I like about Japan is that a lot of playgrounds and parks still have equipment that require a certain amount of common sense and provide a certain amount of danger. Tall jungle gyms–one park we like to visit has a 12 foot tall rope jungle gym; merry-go-rounds; tall slides; swings with no “seat belts”; and balance beams.

In fact, the only thing I see lacking is a tall Witch’s Hat with no inhibitor like we used to have on the playground of Edison Elementary School in Hayden, Colorado. I remember getting a hand and leg smashed every now and then but nothing horrible. We also had a rickety, splintery wood and pipe merry-go-round that could get up to a fair speed. (A good tether ball set would be nice, too.)

The best part, though, was the swings. We’d get swinging as high as possible and then jump out. (Hey, I said a “certain amount of common sense” was required, not a certain amount of good sense and/or intelligence.) I remember one guy coming off the swing with his feet pointing straight up at the sky. He managed to get them down before he landed.

When we visited Florida several years ago, I was appalled at the squishy safe playground equipment. Even the ground had been rubberized. It all reminded me of the play things you put in a hamster cage.

Today, though, I saw one little girl carrying a handful of dirt to show her parents. I saw a boy trying to hit his brother because his brother had knocked him off the raised discs. I also watched my daughter climb and fall off stuff and have a good time doing it. She tried the climbing wall; the swinging log path; the balance beam; the rope ladder climbs; and a few other potentially dangerous things.

ParkDay-5 ParkDay-3 ParkDay-1

The worst thing that happened, besides dirt, was she got chocolate on her butt. We’re still not sure how, but she’s eight, so it’s pretty much expected.