I met people I’d met before. I met a person who claimed we’d met before but who I didn’t remember. I met a couple people who seemed pretty cool but who I’ll probably never meet again. I met students I hadn’t seen in a month and told them I’d see them next month.

It was that kind of week.

With two teachers away for family reasons we had a rush of substitutes and the possibility that we’d have to substitute classes ourselves. This meant that two of us found ourselves in the position of helping out a company that’s technically a rival company.

Along the way I made a very rare appeal to the vice principal for help and missed the apology from the student who drew swastikas (actually, he drew the Japanese symbol for temple: 卍 which is backward from the symbol he thought he was drawing.

I’ll get the apology next week, though.

I also managed to finish an exam, but no one had time to look at it because they were busy finishing their own.

Hopefully next week will be easier.

I have a test to make, but all the events at the school where I work still have me kind of depressed and have me putting off until next week what could have have been done six days ago.

Mind you, even when I’m not feeling down I’m not always prompt about getting my exams ready for public viewing. The work itself isn’t that hard, especially as the test will be comprehensive (more on the panic and heartbreak that announcement caused in a future post) but I suddenly can’t be bothered to put everything together.

It doesn’t help that Wednesday features two of my worst classes, including one with students who like to draw swastikas and say phrases that sound like “fuck you” and the other with a student who like to lay down on the floor and pretend he’s dead. (More on all that in a future post, too.) Dealing with exceptionally bad classes saps a lot of energy.

That said, some of it is end of year energy. Neither I nor the students can be bothered to care much anymore and we’re already to be done. Until then, though, I have a chance to hand out some extra homework.

The exam will be finished eventually.

He’s leaving which means he’s not going which means he’s not doing anything.

At the school where I work we have two kinds of third year junior high school students this time of year. Those that are moving on to the high school have already semi-retired and, other than reviewing for an exam, it’s difficult to motivate them to do anything.

Those who are not moving on to the high school pose different problems. Because they are not beholden to the school where I work (they are taking entrance exams and don’t need much of anything from the school) they have zero motivation to do anything.

For example, in today’s third year junior high school class I have a student who was bad last week and was supposed to hand in homework this week. However, his homeroom teacher informed me yesterday that the student is leaving the school and 1) didn’t have time to do the homework because he was off taking entrance exams and 2) that meant that if I wanted his homework I could go to Helen Hunt for it. So to speak.

My only recourse is to sacrifice some of my time by bringing the student in at lunch. He may be someone else’s problem next school year, but for the next week he’s mine.

A couple weeks ago I was kind of hoping for snow. Now I’m hoping for a beautiful, sunlit day.

Every year around this time the school where I work conducts the annual marathon event. This involves high school students running a 10K course and junior high school students running a 5K course.

For the event, regular classes are cancelled, but if the weather turns bad, the marathon is cancelled and we have regular classes. This leads to an odd situation where students desperately want to have regular classes and teachers (specifically ME) are hoping for good weather.

This year, though, because two of my third year junior high school classes meet only three times this term whilst the other meets six times, I was kind of hoping that we’d have regular classes.

However, recent events have led to two teachers being absent for a short time. This means that if we have class tomorrow, I’ll have a five hour schedule and lose most of my planning time as I help substitute for the absent teachers.

I don’t mind this, even though the teachers work for a different company, but taking over another teacher’s classes creates complications that I don’t need when I’m supposed to be finalizing a final exam.

Therefore, I’ve changed my position on the weather. Here’s hoping for sunshine, or at least a marked lack of precipitation.

My first two classes today reminded me a lot of being stuck in a night club that plays crappy music at a volume capable of drowning out jet engines. You can’t leave because your drunk friend thinks he has a chance with the cute blonde and all you can do is watch and go deaf whilst he gyrates in spasms that he thinks counts as dancing.

At the end of the evening you’re speaking loudly and can barely hear him as he complains about how much the cute blonde is missing out on.

My first class was especially loud as I hadn’t seen them, because of entrance exams, since the middle of last month. They’d forgotten a lot of rules. Three students hadn’t even bothered to bring their textbooks.

This means they had to be reminded of how petty and mean I can be, especially as we approach the end of the school year.

One of my worst students was trying to get me angry by parroting anything I said. He spoke in  a mumbly voice that got laughs from the class. I countered him by always asking him to repeat what he’d just said. He likes the attention and laughter of the class but doesn’t like my attention because it often comes with homework.

Tomorrow, if the same three don’t have their textbooks, I’ll put them at the back in what I call the playroom. They get zeros for the day, as does anyone who talks to them. Talk to them twice and you get homework.

Events at the school where I work have brought back bad memories as colleagues have to rush home to care for loved ones in their final hours and after. This has me depressed so the only recourse right now is to make fun of my students.

Well, sort of.

What was my best first year class is now competing to see if it can be my worst. Despite that, I let them pick their own seats a few weeks ago to see if that changed the dynamic. It didn’t, but it puts the problems into one main area which makes it easier to isolate.

However, one student has decided he doesn’t like the place he chose and he’s now lobbying for a new chair. I asked him why and his answers were vague, but I suspect that because he chose a seat at the back near an odd corner, he’s limited in who he can talk/cause trouble with.

I told him I’d be happy to oblige the move, but that everyone would sit in seats I assigned. To help make the point, I had a seating chart drawn up and explained to everyone where they’d be sitting. By coincidence, the worst boys would be sitting up front near me in what one colleague calls a “wall of noise”.

After much students grumbling about the sample chart I put it to a vote and the one student was outvoted. Now the only grumbling is his.

They all may still end up moving, but there won’t be any votes when that happens.

The end of a term is bittersweet, especially when you know you won’t be back next term.

Tonight was the last class of the evening class I’ve been teaching. Because I am, for all intents and purposes, a kind of ronin who doesn’t work for the company, I accept what I’m offered but always expect to be unoffered, so to speak, the next term. In fact, teaching two terms in a row is rather unusual so I’m grateful for the extra cash.

That said, my four jobs are about to become one (two are ending and won’t be renewed and one is, well, long story). I’m not sure if I’m relieved or not, but I’m kind of glad as I’ve been feeling the wear and tear of all this lately.

However, this means that the time I waste will be my own.

Filling up time with work is a nice way to avoid doing other things. Not having work means I’ll have to find another way to avoid doing other things. I call this “being creative” and I’m pretty good at it.

I have a student in one of my classes who, inevitably, asks something stupid and useless, usually when I’m angry. It has become a tradition that my only answer is to tell him to shut up.

Last week, I let him and his fellow students choose their seats rather than remaining in the ones I assigned for them. I don’t usually do this, but this class needed a shake up and the new seating plan lasts only if it produces good behavior. If it doesn’t, they get up to three strikes before they go back to the old seating chart or to a new one that I assign.

(Note: the record for return to old seats is fifteen minutes, not counting the time I cancelled the change during the seating process because the students wouldn’t follow the rules.)

Today’s class got two strikes in rapid succession. Students to my right had formed a small conversation circle and students to my left followed suit. All were talking when I was trying to explain the assignment.

When I broke up the second circle I announced the class had two strikes and that one more would lead to a new seating chart they wouldn’t like.

As I spoke, the student I mentioned before started shouting “teacher, teacher, teacher” forgetting that I don’t respond to common nouns, only proper ones. Finally, even though I was still speaking, he figured out he had to call me by my name. I told him to be quiet because 1) I was talking and 2) I knew that nothing he would say would be useful.

He kept up the name chant until finally just asking his question: “Who got the first strike?” I told him I’d just told him. “Who got the first strike?” This conversation repeated a few more times until I told him to shut up, which he did.

Keep in mind, I do not think any of this makes me either a great person or a great teacher. It just means I’ll have to think up a new seating chart for next week.