Today’s Olympic review is brought to you by the colors purple and yellow. And by the color green.

Cheating by using this as your daily post: C-

Rugby Sevens: B-
Looks too much like a rugby simulator.

Japan defeating New Zealand in Rugby Sevens: A

New Zealand: push (never been there)

The “All Blacks” chanting the Haka before a match: A
Best “I must break you” cheer in sports.

Second best: the University of Texas fans singing “The Eyes of Texas (are upon you” whilst holding up the sign of the devil.

Japan women’s rugby player Marie Yamaguchi: A

Best Olympic insult that could be used as the opening line of a noir novel:
“Sun Yang, he pisses purple.”

Pissing purple: F

Pissing any color other than yellow: F

Discovering what color someone else pisses: ???

Yellow snow: F

Throwing yellow snow at your best friend: A-

Realizing you just handled piss soaked snow: D-

The joke being on you: F

Working the words “piss,” “pisses,” and “pissing” into an Olympics review: B-

Working the word “snow” into a Summer Olympics review: A-

The water in your diving pool turning bright green: D-

Officials assuring you the bright green water is safe even though they don’t know what caused it: F-

Sport most in need of an intervention: Swimming

US Women’s Gymnastics: A

Calling real gymnastics “Artistic Gymnastics”: C-

Implying other forms of gymnastics are not artistic: F

Epee tip that sprays blood on a successful score: A

Repeated attempts to add level of gore to sword fighting (fencing): D

Park SangYoung winning epee gold medal: A

Scoring five straight points to win epee gold medal: A

Surrendering 5 straight points to “win” silver after 20 years of never winning a gold medal: F

Rio Olympic Medals: B+

Japan’s first 800m relay swimming medal in 52 years: A

Fact the first medal in 52 years is a bronze: B-

Michael Phelps’ suction cup treatment circles: push

Maya Dirado: A

Takuya Haneda taking bronze in Canoe Slalom: A

Takuya Haneda being both first Japanese and first Asian to win a canoeing medal: A

Referring to “kayaking” as “canoeing”: B-

Your humble editor’s one attempt at kayaking: F