It says a lot about Japan that the most uncivil things I saw today were actually quite minor. One shocked She Who Must Be Obeyed, and the other involved coffee.

Oddly, although I was also involved, I was not the biggest problem.

As is our tradition for each New Year’s holiday, we had a huge dinner with the entire clan of immediate in-laws and then, after the oldest brother ran away as fast as he could, the rest of us went shopping.

This involves droves of people and traffic, but luckily we’ve missed most of the fukubukuro fighting so we were safe.

At lunch though, we chose the busiest restaurant, and as I was bringing my double espresso back from the drink bar, a woman decided to spread her wings and spun into my cup. This I could have forgiven but her attitude was less than apologetic, which is unusual for Japan, so I got grumpy for minute. Oddly, though, I was able to move on fairly quickly, which is unusual for me.

Then, after we all separated—our girls having been dumped off on the youngest in-law and her husband—She Who Must Be Obeyed and I did some shopping. As we were heading back to the car to head home, we witnessed one of the rudest things we’ve seen in Japan (at least that didn’t involve riding on the train).

An elevator full of parents and kids in carts began to empty while a young couple with a stroller and an older couple with a couple small bags waited. It took the parents and kids in carts a long time to exit, prompting the older man to push his way on the elevator. Then, when the last cart was gone, the old man closed the door in front of the young couple with the stroller. The young man tried to push the button, but it was too late. He and his wife both looked surprised, as they had, technically, been at the front of the line.

She Who Must Be Obeyed and I both muttered something along the lines of “What an asshole” and it was our topic of conversation all the way back to the car. In the asshole’s defense, the young father should have pushed the button as soon as people started getting off the elevator. Also, as rude things go, it wasn’t that bad, but by Japan’s standards, it was rude.

The most shocking thing was that I didn’t do anything that could be considered rude. I even apologized for being bumped. And I didn’t swear. Much. At least not loudly.