This report poses some odd problems for your humble editor: The actual Olympics has been fairly boring and what wasn’t boring involved politics and not sports. Although politics is what your humble editor has longed long to avoid, a couple minor exceptions have been made.

Also, one of the things your humble editor has written about before is how young reporters discover old stories that they think are new. In this case, your humble editor has noticed a great deal of attention being given to the “bulges” of men’s luge competitors. This controversy takes your humble editor back to the early days of this bit of nonsense and the first Olympics report card from Nagano in 1998: Look here and scroll down to  “Bulbous Naughty Bits”.

Rereading  yourself and realizing you’ve changed your own rules on Opening Ceremonies: F

Rereading yourself: D-

Realizing you MAY have improved: B+

 

A few more grades:

Eurosport network playing “I want it all, and I want it now” for an event dedicated to peace and sportsmanship: C-

Believing the notion that the Olympics is actually about peace and sportsmanship: D-

The return of the North Korean all-woman synchronized creepy cheerleading squad after 14 years: B-

What will happen to the cheerleaders if they talk about what they’ve seen once they get back to Commie Hellhole(tm): F

(Note: According to the AP, part of the previous group of cheerleaders blabbed about the non-Commie Hellhole(tm) nature of the non-Commie Hellhole(tm) world and suddenly disappeared from the world stage. Scroll down a bit here and there’s more information.)

Commie Hellholes(tm): F

The US media officially losing its collective crap over head of Commie Hellhole’s(tm) propaganda group: F

Difference between “smile,” “smirk,” and “side-eye”: C-

Excessive use of(tm): F

Being too lazy to use the actual character: F

US Snowboard Team’s boring outfits: C

Red Gerard’s gold medal: A

Red Gerard’s Slopestyle run: A+

Phrases that sound dirty but probably aren’t: slopestyle run

Snowboard term that should be a band name: “Goofy Foot Rider”

Mirai Nagasu landing the Triple Axel: A

Endless Japanese coverage of Mirai Nagasu landing the Triple Axel: D

Spell check hating Axel vs Axle: C-

Not finding anything dreadful to mock: D-

 

More to come as your humble editor finds time to know it.